The Silver Lining

Timing is everything. I've mentioned my struggle with God's timing in previous blogs, but tonight, His timing was impeccable.

I grew up in church. We were there Sundays and Wednesdays. We were in Sunday School, Children's Choir and GA's. We worked the nursery, we went on every choir retreat and mission trip. We were completely dedicated members. Then, I went to college. While in college, I slacked off. Then after college, I would go here and there but still not as diligently as I should. I've bounced from church to church and just couldn't find my home. The church I had grown up in is great, but it didn't feel as though that's where God had called me to be. Until the past few months, I had just kind of given up. I wanted to be involved in a church but just felt so alone trying to find the place for me. I realize going to church isn't about me and I shouldn't be concerned with the fact that I was going alone, but it really bothered me. I grew up with my whole family crammed on the fifth pew in the center isle every Sunday. So, as you can imagine, the search for somewhere new was somewhat out of my comfort zone. 

This past week, I have been hearing, "Melesa, you have to go Sunday." When I would try and figure out where,I had no idea. So all week I've been dreading the fact that I would spend another Sunday, feeling awkward, in a new place by myself. I was going to obey but I was NOT looking forward to it and really had no idea where I was going to go. It's hard being my age and joining a church in the South. The groups are already formed and they aren't that easy to become a part of and you may be a little surmised but, more than likely, I wouldn't even try.

THEN TA DAH! He showed up and He showed out! Around 9:00pm, my person, Erin sent me a text and said, "Hey! Church of the Highlands is having their first service in Huntsville tomorrow. Do you want to go with me?" My first concern was the time. I work at 11:00 tomorrow at Bridgestreet. The service is at 9:30 and it is at Columbia High School.....right by Bridgestreet. All of my excuses were diminished. Time is perfect. Location is perfect. Not only will I not be by myself, but I will be with one of my very best friends, and it will be the first service for the church. It will be everyone's first day!

I think that I've been praising him in the hallway so long that he is finally opening a window. Finally a breath of fresh air. Can't wait to see what is in store for us tomorrow. 

Stay tuned!

Until next time,

M.

The Rules of Being a Lady*

1. Stay Classy.
2. Act like a lady, think like a man.
3. Respect yourself, if you don't, he won't either.
4. Keep your head, heels and standards high.
5. The less you care, the happier you will be.
6. Don't fall for words, fall for actions.
7. How he treats his mother is a pretty good indicator of how he will treat you.
8. Be confident in yourself, to be beautiful you have to feel beautiful.
9. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
10. You can't expect him to be perfect, nobody is.
11. Be kind, always.
12. A lady always knows when it's time to go.
13. The outward appearance is the lowest form of beauty.
14. Forgive, even before they say they're sorry.
15. If he doesn't chase you when you walk away, keep walking.
16. Pray for your nation.
17. Be the flame, not the moth.
18. Fall in love when you're ready, not when you're lonely.
19. If you ever get caught sleeping at work/school, raise your head slowly and say, "In Jesus' name, amen."
20. ...and last but certainly not least, my favorite of them all:

"If he misses you, he'll call.

If he wants you, he'll say it.

If he cares, he'll show it.

And if not, he can't be worth your time

because you're obviously not worth his."

When you have moments of self doubt, check back in and review this list. You were fearfully and wonderfully made and deserve to be treated as a prize not a toy. Let no one ever tell you that you can't do what you feel in your heart that you can. Be the flame, not the moth. Hold your head high and face the day with knowing that today is one day closer to meeting the one person who will treat you as the prize that you are. Until then, pray. Pray for yourself (it's okay to do that..) Pray for your future husband. Pray for your family and friends. Pray for your nation. Pray for humility and patience. Most of all, pray for God to bless you so that you may too be a blessing. Don't let one negative moment take away who you are. Use it as fuel. Be so consumed with your relationship with God that any man who wants to get to you has to go through him first.
 

I'm praying for you.

Until next time,

M.

 

 

P.S. You can find several other "Rules for Being a Lady" online. I found many of these on Pinterest. 

If you want to be happy..be*

 

                                    

I've said time and time again that I am so looking forward to a new year... that 2013 was a sad country song and that I was looking forward to a new beginning. Like everyone, I was looking for hope. Hope for the next great thing to come along. Hope for my big break. Hope for this.. Hope for that... but in reality.. January 1,2014 wasn't really all that different than the day before. It was just another day. I didn't wake up next to the man of my dreams, I didn't wake up 20 pounds lighter, I hadn't kicked all my bad habits.. Same thing, different day. In reality, we aren't necessarily just looking for a miracle, but we are searching for a starting point and I guess the first day of the year is as good of a time as any.

I didn't have to make resolutions this year because after a long back and forth struggle with God, I've finally found my breaking point. I feel like I've honestly gone as far as I can possibly go by doing things my way. I'm out of gas. When I finally hit the wall, I prayed. I prayed for conviction. I prayed for guidance. I prayed the most desperate prayer you could imagine. I asked God every single heart-breaking question that I could before I felt a sudden peace. I felt the conviction. I felt the forgiveness and I felt like I had finally gotten the weight that I'd been carrying for the past 4 years off my shoulders. Even though I felt better, I still had something holding me back. Something I wasn't ready to let go of yet. Something I'm still not so sure I want to let go.. But I'm going to do it because we've seen how well ,my plan has worked out.

        

   

My new focus is on patience and self control. I struggle with these more than any other thing in my life. I am very impatient. I feel like if I don't get something from the beginning then I never will. That's another issue for another day. So throughout every aspect of my life, I'm working on self control and patience... With my thoughts, my diet, my relationships, my friends, my family... You name it.

This may sound silly to you, but I'm kind of putting myself through a "boot camp" if you will for two weeks. It takes two weeks to make a habit. I'm sure two weeks can break them too. I'm trying to supplement my downfalls with better habits.  I'm not challenging anyone or comparing to anyone, I just feel like I need to do this for me. I honestly feel like I've been stuck lately. I've been stuck between who I am and who I feel like I should be. I'm leaps and bounds from where I was this time last year but still haven't figured out exactly who I am or where I'm going and I feel like by 26 I should have some idea.

   

This is who I want to be. More than anything, at the end of the day, I want others to remember that I treated them with compassion, that I was kind and showed humility and gentleness and hopefully one day soon they will say that I was patient with them as well. I'm a work in progress. Don't count me out just yet. Please just pray for me as I start this journey.

If I'm anything, I'm honest..

Until next time,

M.

New Year, New You..

It's that time of year again, people! The time where you categorize all that is wrong with you and decide that you are going to change! New year, new you. Most of the time, the New Year's resolutions that I see are so negative. We are always so down on ourselves. This year my New Year's resolutions are going to be positive changes. I want to laugh more. I want to let go of the small things. I want to stop over analyzing everything. I want to make more friends. I want to be a better person. I want to be a little more spontaneous. I want to take more time appreciating the person that I am instead of being upset about not being the person that you think I should be. I want to take the time to notice the little things and appreciate them. I want to spend all of the time with my family that I can. I want to invest in my friendships, I may stay out a little later on a night that I have to wake up and work a double the next morning..but that's okay..it's the memories that matter. Please join me in making 2014 a positive experience. Let's learn from 2013 and leave it exactly where it was. Don't let the baggage from last year make it into this year, because this year is going to be awesome.

Until next time,
M.

You is Smart, You is Kind, You is Important*

I will be the first one to say that "The Dating Game" is total B.S. Nobody likes it...well some may.. but I think it is dumb. Why can't you just have friends and then pick one to marry? Why does it have to be so complicated?? It's complicated because you make it complicated. It doesn't have to be. Let's face it, you are not going to have a "Noah and Allie" situation, so set that aside and move on. I'm looking for more of a "Ross and Rachel" than a "Noah and Allie." Ross and Rachel were best friends. They could fight, they could laugh, they had mutual friends, they could break up and they could still be friends, but everyone knew that they would end up together again...and they did. Now I'm a Notebook fanatic, but it's just not real.

What about the one's who love you one day and deny it the next day? Who has time for that? Not Melesa. Moving on. I know it is cliche to say but, "sometimes the hardest things and the right things are the same." These words have never been more true. Why put yourself through this? My brother, who is way cooler than me, would say it's time to "L.I.G." Let it go. Do you know how many times he has had to tell me this? I often find myself believing all of the utter BS. I think that sometimes girls just need to believe it. We want to believe that you love us. It's in our makeup to want to find a husband and settle down and get married. We get so caught up in "the dream" that we lose track of the goal. When we lose track of the goal is when we compromise who we are. We settle. You are better than that. You matter. Don't ever let anyone make you feel otherwise. I've been there. I've been there recently. I believed every word and compromised everything I possibly could just to keep from breaking the ice. Dating someone should be a positive thing. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you are less than you are. You are "fearfully and wonderfully made", do you think that God's plan  for you is to be with someone who doesn't see that? Do you really think that He plans for you to marry someone who is degrading to you or abusive (physically or verbally) to you? I'm gonna go with....No! Hello! Who are we to question God's plan? Trust him. He always follows through. In the mean time, live a little, stop the search, get rid of the criteria, let the stress of dating go....and...wait for it...wait for it....let yourself have fun! "You is smart, you is kind, you is important." Never forget that.

Until Next Time,
M.

Three Little Birds

Say it with me.. "Whatever you decide to do, do what makes you happy."

 Now breathe. 

If it doesn't make you happy, it's not worth your time. Life is too short to waste your time being unhappy. I don't care if it's a relationship, a job, it doesn't matter...whatever it is....if you can't say to yourself at the end of the day that you are truly happy, then something is wrong. 

When I find myself down, as I sometimes do, I have to stop and just take a step back and ask myself, 

"Why aren't you happy and how can you fix it?"

Usually my answers go from "because he did this" or "because he didn't do this" or "she said this".... I've always heard that when you point one finger at someone, three are pointing back at you. Sometimes we have to take responsibility for our problems. Stop dwelling in the pity party and get up and try to figure out what really has made you unhappy, if it's worth letting yourself be hurt by this, and how the issue can be fixed. 

I realize that sometimes, somethings are out of our hands. I like to call these lovely things, "The Blindside"... 

((((Thhhheee Blindsiiiiiiiiidddddeeee))))

(I hope you read that how I said it..)

The blindside sucks. Bottom line. No sweet or cute way to describe it...it sucks. We've all been there. You may be there today, and if you are, I'm sorry...because it sucks...haha okay okay I know I've already said it..just wanted to sympathize. 

When I get knocked down by the blindside, this is what helps me;  I cry. Weren't expecting that were you? I'm here to tell you, it's okay. It's okay to cry. I give myself an hour...to be really sad and deal with how I am feeling. Don't ignore it, embrace it.  Once your time's up, get up. Get out of the house. Do something productive. Love yourself. By this point there is no turning back, you have got to pick yourself up at and just move along. I was talking to my aunt recently and she said to me,"All you can do is your best. If at the end of the day you know you've done your best and you don't get the results you want, it's not because you didn't do your part.." 

The Blindside is inevitable. It's how you bounce back that really sets you apart.

"If you want to be happy, be. " 

M.

What plans?

I was reading my "Jesus Calling" book tonight and something really jumped out at me. It's actually the post for tomorrow. 

Leave it to me to cheat and read ahead... I'm the girl that usually reads the end of a story first, just because I hate surprises. I'm a planner. I like to know what is ahead of me. So as you can imagine "Letting go and letting God" is pretty hard for me. Giving up control of my life... really hard. However, I do it. I trust God. I let go and I let him do his thing....Usually. I rebel and fight him tooth and nail sometimes bc the stubborn Melesa that we all know and love clearly knows what's right.. Right? Haha she thinks she does.. I make God laugh alot just by telling him my plans...

ANYWAY... Back to my story. I was reading ahead in my Jesus Calling book tonight when tomorrow's devotion slapped me right in the face. If it's okay by you, I would like to share it with you.

"Come to me when you are weak and weary. Rest snugly in My everlasting arms. I do not despise your weakness, My child. Actually, it draws Me closer to you, because weakness stirs up My compassion-- My yearning to help. Accept yourself in your weariness,knowing that I understand how difficult your journey has been.

Do not compare yourself with others, who seem to skip along their life-paths with ease. Their journeys have been different from yours, and I have gifted them with abundant energy.  I have gifted you with fragility, providing opportunities for your spirit to blossom in My presence.  Accept this gift as a sacred treasure: delicate, yet glowing with brilliant Light. Rather than struggling to disguise or deny your weakness, allow Me to bless you richly through it."

Amazing, right? Sorry for all of you that are doing the Jesus Calling devotional bc tomorrow's devotion had to have been written for me and me alone.

 

I hope you all have a lovely week!!

M.