You is Smart, You is Kind, You is Important*

I will be the first one to say that "The Dating Game" is total B.S. Nobody likes it...well some may.. but I think it is dumb. Why can't you just have friends and then pick one to marry? Why does it have to be so complicated?? It's complicated because you make it complicated. It doesn't have to be. Let's face it, you are not going to have a "Noah and Allie" situation, so set that aside and move on. I'm looking for more of a "Ross and Rachel" than a "Noah and Allie." Ross and Rachel were best friends. They could fight, they could laugh, they had mutual friends, they could break up and they could still be friends, but everyone knew that they would end up together again...and they did. Now I'm a Notebook fanatic, but it's just not real.

What about the one's who love you one day and deny it the next day? Who has time for that? Not Melesa. Moving on. I know it is cliche to say but, "sometimes the hardest things and the right things are the same." These words have never been more true. Why put yourself through this? My brother, who is way cooler than me, would say it's time to "L.I.G." Let it go. Do you know how many times he has had to tell me this? I often find myself believing all of the utter BS. I think that sometimes girls just need to believe it. We want to believe that you love us. It's in our makeup to want to find a husband and settle down and get married. We get so caught up in "the dream" that we lose track of the goal. When we lose track of the goal is when we compromise who we are. We settle. You are better than that. You matter. Don't ever let anyone make you feel otherwise. I've been there. I've been there recently. I believed every word and compromised everything I possibly could just to keep from breaking the ice. Dating someone should be a positive thing. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you are less than you are. You are "fearfully and wonderfully made", do you think that God's plan  for you is to be with someone who doesn't see that? Do you really think that He plans for you to marry someone who is degrading to you or abusive (physically or verbally) to you? I'm gonna go with....No! Hello! Who are we to question God's plan? Trust him. He always follows through. In the mean time, live a little, stop the search, get rid of the criteria, let the stress of dating go....and...wait for it...wait for it....let yourself have fun! "You is smart, you is kind, you is important." Never forget that.

Until Next Time,
M.

Three Little Birds

Say it with me.. "Whatever you decide to do, do what makes you happy."

 Now breathe. 

If it doesn't make you happy, it's not worth your time. Life is too short to waste your time being unhappy. I don't care if it's a relationship, a job, it doesn't matter...whatever it is....if you can't say to yourself at the end of the day that you are truly happy, then something is wrong. 

When I find myself down, as I sometimes do, I have to stop and just take a step back and ask myself, 

"Why aren't you happy and how can you fix it?"

Usually my answers go from "because he did this" or "because he didn't do this" or "she said this".... I've always heard that when you point one finger at someone, three are pointing back at you. Sometimes we have to take responsibility for our problems. Stop dwelling in the pity party and get up and try to figure out what really has made you unhappy, if it's worth letting yourself be hurt by this, and how the issue can be fixed. 

I realize that sometimes, somethings are out of our hands. I like to call these lovely things, "The Blindside"... 

((((Thhhheee Blindsiiiiiiiiidddddeeee))))

(I hope you read that how I said it..)

The blindside sucks. Bottom line. No sweet or cute way to describe it...it sucks. We've all been there. You may be there today, and if you are, I'm sorry...because it sucks...haha okay okay I know I've already said it..just wanted to sympathize. 

When I get knocked down by the blindside, this is what helps me;  I cry. Weren't expecting that were you? I'm here to tell you, it's okay. It's okay to cry. I give myself an hour...to be really sad and deal with how I am feeling. Don't ignore it, embrace it.  Once your time's up, get up. Get out of the house. Do something productive. Love yourself. By this point there is no turning back, you have got to pick yourself up at and just move along. I was talking to my aunt recently and she said to me,"All you can do is your best. If at the end of the day you know you've done your best and you don't get the results you want, it's not because you didn't do your part.." 

The Blindside is inevitable. It's how you bounce back that really sets you apart.

"If you want to be happy, be. " 

M.

What plans?

I was reading my "Jesus Calling" book tonight and something really jumped out at me. It's actually the post for tomorrow. 

Leave it to me to cheat and read ahead... I'm the girl that usually reads the end of a story first, just because I hate surprises. I'm a planner. I like to know what is ahead of me. So as you can imagine "Letting go and letting God" is pretty hard for me. Giving up control of my life... really hard. However, I do it. I trust God. I let go and I let him do his thing....Usually. I rebel and fight him tooth and nail sometimes bc the stubborn Melesa that we all know and love clearly knows what's right.. Right? Haha she thinks she does.. I make God laugh alot just by telling him my plans...

ANYWAY... Back to my story. I was reading ahead in my Jesus Calling book tonight when tomorrow's devotion slapped me right in the face. If it's okay by you, I would like to share it with you.

"Come to me when you are weak and weary. Rest snugly in My everlasting arms. I do not despise your weakness, My child. Actually, it draws Me closer to you, because weakness stirs up My compassion-- My yearning to help. Accept yourself in your weariness,knowing that I understand how difficult your journey has been.

Do not compare yourself with others, who seem to skip along their life-paths with ease. Their journeys have been different from yours, and I have gifted them with abundant energy.  I have gifted you with fragility, providing opportunities for your spirit to blossom in My presence.  Accept this gift as a sacred treasure: delicate, yet glowing with brilliant Light. Rather than struggling to disguise or deny your weakness, allow Me to bless you richly through it."

Amazing, right? Sorry for all of you that are doing the Jesus Calling devotional bc tomorrow's devotion had to have been written for me and me alone.

 

I hope you all have a lovely week!!

M.

Thankful for Saturdays

Today I need prayer. Unspoken prayers. 

This week I have gotten some news that has just broken me. Broken my heart. No illnesses, nothing like that. Just something from someone I love so much's testimony has just absolutely broken me. 

You never know the battle that someone is facing or has faced. You never know what's really going on.

This has shaped my week... Among other things. Needless to say, I'm glad it is Saturday. 

I spent half of the day yesterday helping my Aunt Karen with her classroom and I'm heading that way again today. Helps get my mind off things and I enjoy decorating her classroom!

My list of prayer requests today is a mile long. If you pray, please say one for me. If you don't pray, call me and we will work on that! ;-) 

Although we may not see the bigger picture we have to have faith that we are taken care of. Luckily God breaks our lives up into 24 hour days. One day, I can do. 

Until next time, 

M.

Seriously!?

So, I'm watching the news tonight and a video came on the screen of 3 fifteen year olds attacking a 13 year old on the school bus. I'm heartbroken. This is absolutely ridiculous.

 A child should not feel threatened or in danger at school! School is a place where a child should go to better themselves, not have to fear what the day has in store for them. This child is being attacked because he told an official at school that one of the boys offered him drugs. Okay, let that simmer. The THIRTEEN year old CHILD was offered drugs by another child. Are you kidding me!?

Who is even supplying these kids with drugs??? I would love to meet them. When I was 13, I was worried about who I would ride with to the Beasley Center birthday party that weekend... not getting beat up on the way home from school.

Why can't kids just be kids? There's so much pressure on them now to act and dress so much older than they are. I mean, kids are compromising their innocence at such a young age now. It's really sad. It's sad that a child who was going to an adult for help got attacked for that very reason.

Kids are so smart. They have all the hateful things that our parents hid from us at their very fingertips. They are all on Facebook, they have access to drugs, they have all of the Internet to their viewing pleasure at the touch of a button. It's on their phones! They can see whatever they want, whenever they want. 

 Who is protecting our youth? Who are going to be the ones to take a stand against this ridiculous bullying? Why wouldn't that bus driver try to break up that fight!? Who was defending that child? You can give me reasons all day and night and I will never understand why this wasn't stopped before the boy's ARM was broken!? Is it going to take another child being hurt before someone puts an end to this?!

Sorry for the soapbox but I am just so disappointed with this tonight. No excuse. Praying for our youth tonight.

M.

All Things Wonderful

I'm overwhelmed at the positive response that I received from my first post. Thank you. It's nice to know that there are other people out there that can relate to my situation.

Okay! No more reminiscing. Only posts about moving forward from now on. Since my first post, so many great things have happened! I have made a new friend. I have reconnected with some old friends. I have faced Florence a few times (if you know me you know this is a big deal!). I actually love Florence now. I've been working out with friends. I started a new diet today. I decided I needed some down time, so I began to make time to read. My sweet girl, Hadley, turned three and she had a very girly princess party in true Hadley fashion..I volunteered with Casa...The list goes on and on.....I couldn't be happier than I am this very minute.

You may be sitting there wondering what the point in listing all the good things going on in my life is....well first of all, it's my blog and I do what I want ;-) hahaha kidding..... No but really, it's to just express how very blessed I am in this moment. I prayed on my knees for years and years for something good to happen for me, for something to go my way, for this, for that,but all the while I forgot to pray for God's will to be done. My prayers were full of "would you, could you, do you mind's" and I would be heartbroken when his answer wasn't yes. Selfish prayers. When I began this blog, I had already been going through an amazing journey with God. A journey that I thought I had already been a part of for years before that, but it wasn't until this spring that it really clicked. I began changing my behavior, trying my best to strengthen my witness, and the kicker was learning how to pray with an open heart. In turn, God may not have given me everything I wanted but he opened my eyes to see all of the wonderful things that I already had.

I am doing the "Jesus Calling" devotion. If you're searching for a devotion.....I believe this one has healing powers! While reading tonight's devotion I came across the words, "Brighten up the world by reflecting who I am." These few words have so much power behind them. Encourage one another. Smile. Give freely. Love fully. Expect nothing in return. At the end of the day, let all the things you do glorify God. I really believe that if you live your life this way, all things wonderful will fall into place.

So far so good!
M.

Melesa - Party of One!

That's me! I am one of the many "twenty something's" who kind of just got stuck in the middle of the hooplah of what we call "The Real World".

 I had a plan, just like everyone else. I had goals, just like you. I had my entire life planned out. I was going to be the girl with the white picket fence, two kids (boy and girl) and a wonderful husband all before 30. I was going to have the job of my dreams, when in reality I didn't even know what that was going to be.  

Have you seen the movie Clueless? I could have been the star! Maybe they will catch me for the sequel.

Here's the reality.  I'm 26. I'm single. I have a job. I have a dog. I'm the last one standing out of my friends when it comes to marriage and babies and I live paycheck to paycheck 95% of the time.

Lately, I've been really down about this. Being 26, in the South ,without being married, or being on your way to being married, is almost like being a unicorn, if you will. It's unheard of! There's a lot of pressure in the Southern culture to have your family going by 30. Well....I guess I'm the unicorn in the room then.

I went through a phase when I was really down on myself for this. I felt left behind. I felt like I deserved these things and it just was something that I had to accept, that these things just weren't in the cards for me. I tried so hard to make some things work that were just wrong from the beginning. I made every excuse possible why the guy with the busted up car, no job, no goals, and no future could someday turn into Prince Charming. Trust me ladies.... He doesn't turn into anything except the old man with the busted up car, no job, no goals and a bunch of kids just like him! No thanks. Just ask my sister,mama, or my girlfriends the winners I kept taking back for a while. Haha trust me, you will feel better about yourself after listening to their tales....it's okay to laugh, I do. :-)

I found myself checking my Facebook religiously to see who was in a better situation than I was. Everyday, someone was getting married or having babies or showing me how beautiful their babies were... Oh and don't you love it when then girls who weren't even in high school when you were are getting engaged and married!??It's not that I don't love seeing them happy. I do. I do enjoy seeing your babies grow up, it's just "Melesa-Party of One" over here felt super inadequate. So, do you know what I did!? I DELETED it today! Sayonara Sucker! I haven't missed you at all today.

Deleting Facebook was step 1 of my plan to really finding who I am and finding out where I fit in this game of Life without the influence and opinions of anyone else. I'm on the mend. I had the most amazing day. My goal for this blog is to just track my progress as I just focus on figuring out where my place in all of this is. I am so excited for what's to come and I promise if you just stay tuned, if nothing else you will be entertained!

M.