This picture is significant. This photo was taken when I was at my absolute lowest point. August 26, 2009. Fresh out of college, within a week of having my heart broken, in my new apartment that I couldn't afford, with only a few friends, distant from God, and working a new job. Broke and broken hearted is a bad combo. Why I took this picture, I don't know. I'm sure I was just bored and playing with my new webcam to pass the time, but I'm glad that I did. When I look at this photo, the first thing I notice are the big tears in my eyes. You may not be able to see them, but I have a vivid recollection of this day and know they're there. I see the girl trying to smile even though she has no clue when the light at the end of the tunnel will show, I see a girl I never want to see again...and then I see that camo shirt! Haha.....excuse me. It was a work shirt.
It's been a long time since I've seen the person in that picture. No longer a victim and I've stopped pushing all good things away from me. Life is too short for that. Someone once told me, "If you want to be happy, be." That quote set me on my way. Why would you sit around and wait on happiness to come to you? If you want something, go get it. Happiness doesn't have to be a huge raise or the perfect relationship. Happiness shows up when you stop expecting and start noticing what's right in front of you.
Here is where I am. I'm stuck. I'm in a spot where the light at the end of the tunnel is pretty bright. I'm nowhere near the place where I began, BUT I'm still not there yet. I still catch myself being lonely and envious of what others have. I often feel left behind and uncomfortable being by myself all the time. SO today is the day I'm taking my own advice. If you want true happiness you have to go get it. I've come across a page on Facebook called "100 Days of Happiness Challenge"....this is a challenge where you take the time to notice and appreciate at least one thing that made you smile each day for 100 days. I'm hoping by the end of this challenge I will realize that true happiness happens when you stop chasing the "what if's" and start noticing what's been a blessing all along.
It's my turn. Challenge accepted.
I will be beginning my challenge right away. If you want to follow my progress you can find me on Facebook at #100happydaysformelesa or by following my blog. If you would like to join me and do your own 100 day challenge, you can find all of the information at
Until next time,
M.
