Today is the fifth day of my personal journey and so far it's going great. Day 3 was tough, but everyday isn't going to be perfect. Day 4 was bittersweet, the day began with my mom and I going to Murfreesboro for my best friend's father's memorial but the day ended with a spontaneous trip to Franklin. The memorial was very sweet. The girls did a great job in planning it. The preacher said one thing that jumped out to me though. He said "On your tombstone there is a 'born on date', a dash, and a 'died on date', what will you do with the dash?" We are not guaranteed tomorrow. We're not promised even the next second. If, God forbid, this was your last day on Earth, what would your dash say about you? I don't want my dash to be described as all of the time I spent waiting on the next best thing to happen but instead I want it to say that I was the girl who went out and made things happen.
I've spent so much time worrying about what's going to happen next that I have deprived myself of the life that I deserve. Starting today my mind is made up. I am no longer waiting. If something is meant to be it will come back to me. If it's not, it never was, and think of all the time I spent waiting on them to just tell me that. Moving forward doesn't mean moving on though. God has recently told me that for my own sake I need to move forward, keep living, keep doing the things I love to do and finding new things that I like too, but to not try and replace what I was waiting on in the mean time. I've spent so much time searching for the right person that I haven't given myself a chance to enjoy life and just live. I'm telling you, when you take that pressure off of your shoulders, you can breathe a lot better.
Week one of my "Personal Growth Rehab" has been a lot better than I expected to be. I learned that I loved to cook and that I'm actually pretty good at it! I learned that I like spontaneous trips to new places. I learned that family is more important than anything else in this life and that God didn't bring us this far to abandon us. While mom and I were in Franklin yesterday, we were in a really cool bookstore that had books as far as you can see. Old books. It also claimed to be haunted which made it that much cooler. There were quotes posted over every bookcase. Most of them were ones we hear all of the time, but there was one that just jumped out to me and really made me think. I've posted it below.
I sat there and just thought about that for a few minutes and I realized that she was exactly right. This year, my questions are being answered. At the end of the day, I am blessed.
I'm praying for you.
Until Next Time,
M.
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